Today I went for a swim in the salted sea. There were the usual suspects, signore and signori, the elderly sun lovers out on this brilliant October day. The Italians love their sun. My favourite woman has skin the colour of a caffe' macchiato, espresso with a touch of milk; her lizard skin shifts in bronze folds having been sun-kissed and kissed again. She, like all southern Italian women, wears a bikini. No shape size age denomination or religion affiliation suffers discrimination. Were one to wear a discreet one-piece, you'd find yourself the oddity, here modesty suggests a less than enthusiastic life force. In other words, embrace of the skin you're in.
Were you thinking I'd fallen down a well of sorrow?
When a bartender a handful of my friends, also bartenders, decided to dry up and fly right setting out on a path of abstinence and fasting, ten days no less. I, never one to give up food for anyone, was privileged to learn mid-fast how one pal in the clearing process had shat old car parts, boots, tires, shoestrings, a hammer, dog toys and other sundries.
And so I too, in clearing my path, am providing a map containing clues, not all pretty, in this slow marathon.
There will be blood.
and so I bid you adieu....with this love letter
__________"We have no reason to mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abysses belong to us; are dangers at hand, we must try to love them. And if we could only arrange our life according to that principle which counsels us that we must always hold to the difficult, then that which now seems to us the most alien will become what we most trust and find most faithful. How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the beginning of all peoples, the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.
So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloud shadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.”______________________
Ranier Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
While the price has changed dramatically since I first bought this book I highly recommend