Lead us not into temptation
I've continued to sleep late, late for me meaning ten, ten thirty. I never do that, or so rarely I am inclined to comment.
Perhaps the despair of seeing such mean contrasts? A video of a black man being ripped from his wheelchair during a protest, allegedly after he assaulted an LA police officer. Or listening to a reading of Uncle Tom's Cabin, hearing it for the first time? I am continually horrified throughout, from the bland acceptance of enslavement to more radical violence and a blatant misreading of holy scriptures to justify human enslavement.
For the record, this is not my first rodeo, being a reader of the holocaust, the Rwandan genocide, prisoner-of war-camps, the devastation of American Indian tribes snd the story of slavery in America. Yet I'm consistently bowled over, now further compounded by viewing a righteous video of a Guadalajaran mother raging for her murdered daughter and the daughters of her neighbours, raped as babies, raped by their own fathers, raped and left murdered as useless meat.
Contrast that to sweater sales, (80% off), my hunt for a pair of running shoes, I ate pistachio gelato today while passing myriad people sitting atop cardboard sleeves hoping for loose change, and so many dogs who've learned silence and docility to be able to stay with their homeless masters.
I can understand wanting to burn it all the fuck down. Burn it the fuck down.
Lead us not into temptation, the temptation to believe that this is all there is, that while the world is spinning apart, do not be tempted to despair. We are called to repair and restore. I believe that means going deeper into our fears, holding out hope, slowing down to see in what tiny ways we can add joy, comfort and relief. If I can give a tiny bit of my mortified self, I can begin to recreate the world bit by bit. Don't lose hope. Keep your anger. Scream your fears and hopes into the face of god, what do you have to lose? And DO something life-giving and watch as life rises up to meet you.
Sleep well my friends.